Author: Harry

Bright and sunny morning again but dressed for the cold, before heading for the free shuttle bus to Fort Lauderdale – free seems to mean that you are dropped at a shopping mall.

Soon realised that temperature had changed – it was around 20 and humid. I had brought my backpack, in the vain hope of finding a wine shop but it was useful for storing the excess clothing.

We were here on the same day last year, to board the Queen Victoria for a cruise to Sydney and had plenty of time to walk around Fort Lauderdale – we also call again on the way back, so we were content to wander around the shops.

After about an hour, we decided to look for somewhere to get a coffee. There was a big “food centre” but they only sold fast food, with any type of sugar/caffeine overload soft drinks but no coffee.

We walked on and finally found a Starbucks, hidden in the basement of Macy’s.

Lynne sat at a table and I took my place in the queue, behind an elderly*, gentleman, who had ordered a Latte. Unfortunately, he tried to complicate matters, by saying that he wanted only one shot of coffee. The attendant asked if he wanted the same size of coffee – I did not see what deference this would make but to a professional Barista, it means “do you want the space left by the missing shot filled with water or milk?”

It became apparent that the gentleman’s first language was not English and that he did not fully understand the importance of his answer. He ventured “Milk?”

Barista rattled off “so that’s a single shot Latte, with an order of milk on the side. Will that be steamed milk, or cold milk?” – he chose steamed.

I started to shake my head, as I knew what was coming.

When the bill was presented, the gentleman said “what’s this? $12 for a cup of coffee”

The Barista explained – in the polite, contemptible, tone of someone who has taken great pleasure in doing you over – that it was the charge for the side order.

Fortunately, the gentleman was not as daft as the Barista thought and had the milk substituted by water.

I was trying to work out the volume of the missing shot of coffee and the stupidity of the whole argument.

The final straw, or coffee bean, came when the bill was presented. The Barista had one of those credit card machines, where you scroll down to indicate the amount of the tip you want to give, with zero somewhere in not the outer reaches of the Galaxy.

Another interrogation session:

“how much?”

“that’s the tip”

“I don’t want to give you a tip”

“I can’t do anything about it, the transaction has already gone through”

At this point, after waiting for ten minutes, I relinquished my second place in the ever growing queue and decided to do without the coffee and the Pythonesque ordering process.

We returned to shopping and bought a few things, before trying to find an alternative source of coffee – there were none – so started to make our way to the pick up point for the shuttle. On our way, we passed a stall, selling beauty products. The attractive young lady attendant managed to engage Lynne in conversation and despite all of my efforts, persuaded her to enter her lair, for a trial of non surgical wrinkle remover.

It was a typical time share trick and the more effort I put into putting Lynne off, the lower the price dropped – but only from ridiculous to exorbitant. The final addition of a “twoofer” did it. I had to pay up and Lynne was escorted to the expensive store, who were using the stall as a lure, to pick up her goods.

I had to accept that it was a skilful, non-surgical, wallet extraction.

I followed sulkily behind and decided that I should be allowed to buy the “Make America Great Again” baseball cap, that Lynne had previously refused to sanction.

We were, after all, here for the inauguration. I doubt if I will dare to wear it.

The Latina girl who sold it to me didn’t seem to be impressed, even as I tried to explain that I wasn’t a supporter and simply wanted a souvenir – later, on checking the bill, I had the strong suspicion that she had borrowed the Barista’s card machine.

Feeling much better today, so the social calendar is back on track.

* The term is absolute and not relative to the age of the observer.

Sun is shining once again but cold – 14º

Feeling better and heading for the tour buses, to join about 500 other passengers for a trip to the Kennedy Space Centre.

Really is a massive site, covering 7,000 acres, with buildings for SpaceX, Blue Horizon and Boeing alongside the NASA complex.

Started with a bus ride to the Saturn buildings, passing the gigantic Modular Assembly Building, with the rocket transport crawler and bits of recovered boosters in the surrounding areas.

There was also a Space X Rocket on one of the distant launch pads – distant because the blast area of an exploding rocket is 3 miles.

After a couple of hours, we caught the bus back to the main centre and wandered around the Atlantis Space Shuttle exhibit, with the real shuttle on display.

The was also a model of the space station and I thought it would be a shame to miss crawling through it. As soon as I entered, I thought it was a little claustrophobic and realised that the other passengers were children. I made my way through and out the other side, where Lynne confirmed that it was a one third scale exhibit for children – Plonker!

Moon Lander display had the Eagle lander and the original flag placed on the moon by Neil Armstrong – very realistic and could be a film set😊.

Everything was very impressive and well worth the visit.

Sun is out but still quite chilly.

Not sure if “cold” could be flu, as still coughing, sneezing and shivering.

Missed Trivia again but walked around the deck and watched some football in one of the lounges.

Not up to dressing up, so had dinner in the buffet. A German couple sat next to us but when Lynne spoke to the lady, she said that she could only speak a very small amount of English. Rather than sit in silence, I tried speaking German. They were very pleased and went rattling on, thinking my nodding and smiling indicated understanding.

It was not too bad really and we spoke about previous travels and learned that they were leaving the ship in Rio – as are a number of people.

The cruise started in Hamburg and there are quite a few German passengers but the majority are British. That may change in a couple of days, when we arrive in Fort Lauderdale.

Sun is shining and the wind has dropped. Unfortunately, have a really heavy cold.

I thought there was something happening, when we received a note about “coughing and sneezing etiquette” – didn’t do it, or if you do, use a handkerchief.

Thinking back, someone behind me sneezed when we were in the theatre and that’s probably where it came from.

Decided to miss the Trivia, rather than pass it on but took advantage of the warm weather to walk around the decks.

Thought dancing was also risky, so missed that as well.

Masked ball tonight but the cold became worse, as the day progressed and opted for an early night with room service – suppose I could have worn my Leeds United Covid mask.

Weather improving but still windy.

Usual day – Trivia went slightly better, with score of 15. Dancing was Lindy Hop, which was a little dangerous on a moving ship.

Full crew safety drill this morning, so all of the cooks, engineers and other people who we don’t normally see in the passenger areas, complete with their life jackets.

Checked the map and noticed that we are about to enter the Bermuda Triangle – maybe that has something to do with it.

Pathologist was giving today’s lecture – “Murderous Medics”, a gruesome tale of Crippen and Shipman.

There was a play in the afternoon- just two people, with minimal scenery and puppets. Very clever and arty but will probably not go to the next one – Lynne managed to catch up on some sleep.

Not much else happening and was tempted to visit the Laundrette, for some entertainment.

Some sunshine this morning but still rough sea and not much improvement in rocking and rolling. Outside temperatures has dropped a bit to 17º .

Trivia followed its usual pattern, with a score of 14.

Went on to the morning lecture – Pathologist, talking about dead bodies and determining cause of death. Probably a bit close to home for some of his audience.

Had a coffee in the Chart Room (a small lounge) and realised that we had missed the start of the dance class. This was partly intentional, as it was the Salsa, which could be risky and annoying, on a rolling ship with Sergei’s strident voice.

Didn’t do much in the afternoon. Lynne found a free washing machine in the laundrette and did the laundry. 

I am not sure that some of the passengers should be let loose on the machines. One gentleman had left paper handkerchiefs in his trousers, which didn’t do much for the washer or tumble dryer.

I help Lynne to carry the washing back and while she was packing it up, a lady who was using one of the washers told me that she had put her book in the machine – “I was reading it one minute but then it was gone”. Sure enough, there it was, turning around with her smalls. Not much to be done, as the machine was full of water. I tried to comfort her by saying she was lucky it wasn’t a Kindle and perhaps she could still catch a few words, each time the book came around. I was going to ask if it was a dirty book but thought better of it.

On reflection, I think the laundrette is Cunard’s best advertisement for their expensive laundry service.

Hopefully, the weather will improve tomorrow and we will be able to spend time on deck.

The sun was shining but there was still a strong wind and a rocking ship, as we emerged from our cabin (stateroom).

Trivia score seems to have settled down to around 14 points out of 20 – still a bit behind the 17, 18, or sometimes 19 of the winners – definitely some hardened quizers amongst them.

Went on from the Trivia to the Zumba class. Managed to get through it but probably doing the wrong steps.

Ballroom dancing class was next. Rumba today and quite complicated steps with Sergei in full swing. Completed the class without event or injury and onward to lunch in the buffet.

We had hoped to spend time on deck in the afternoon but the sun had disappeared and the wind had picked up.

Another Gala night tonight, with posh frocks but no Captain’s cocktails, or free drinks.

Joined by some British people at dinner. Conversation was entertaining but at a lower volume than last night and it turns out that the German lady is gaining a reputation for her enthusiastic conversation.

Tonight’s show was a British comedian. He was good but had to work very hard to find common ground with the audience of Brits, Americans, Australians and Germans.

Wet and windy again, with waves (swell) reaching 10m. The ship is rocking a bit!

Still quite warm at 19º but the outside decks are closed, due to the weather.

Trivia performance was the same as yesterday – needs improvement and more discipline.

Keep fit was replaced by “soft shoe tap dancing”, so didn’t bother with that and waited for the Ballroom class.

Quickstep today but the dance floor was crowded and rocky. Lasted until almost the end but a series of directional errors and a contentious lock step led to an early bath and a sulky lunch.

The show tonight was “Tenors Forever” which is two tenors doing a bit of Michael Ball and Alfie Bowes. We had met one of them yesterday, when walking through Praia.

Lynne had asked a typical native for directions to the taxi rank but he turned out to be a Liverpool tenor. He told us that he and the other half of the act had flown out to join the ship. They would stay on board until our next stop and then join the Queen Mary 2, before returning home from Miami. We were chatting for quite a while and promised to see the show.

The theatre has two presentations, one at 8 and the other at 10. We planned to get to the dining room at 6, to give time for a quick dance before the first show.

We asked for a shared table and joined a German couple, who spoke good English. A few minutes later an American couple were shown to our table. We all got on very well, exchanging, soon to be forgotten, names.

The Germans came from Wartenurg, in Bavaria and the Americans were from Florida – living in a 140,000 home retirement village.

We all got on very well but the German lady became very enthusiastic in her lengthy and loud, description of her home town, with its connection to Martin Luther. She eventually subsided, as she took note of her glassy eyed audience and the conversation moved on. Unfortunately, the American lady asked if she had been a school teacher, given her fulsome and detailed knowledge of the subject.

This set her off again and she was just getting into her stride, when a lady from a neighbouring table came over, to ask herto lower her voice, as she couldn’t her herself think – not sure if she said “doing her head in” but clearly, that is what she meant.

Everyone on our table tried to comfort the offender and we all bonded together, to criticise the interloper. She did have a point however but I think that I would have moved to a distant table.

The show was about to start, so we all dashed off.

The tenors were really good and we will go to their next performance, in a couple of days.

Docked at about 7am and took the Shuttle Bus into town at around 9:30 – a 15 minute journey.

The town is not very big but has a long, picturesque main street, leading down to the sea front. 

There are two towns on the island, Praia and Angra de Heroismo, where there was a major battle, between the Spanish and Portuguese, in the 16th century.

We were with two friends and had decided to visit Angra first and then return to Praia – less chance of getting stranded and missing the ship.

After a bit of a walk, we found a taxi. The driver did not speak English or, surprisingly, Spanish but we managed to establish that the fare would be €25.

The weather was warm (19º) but overcast and we soon ran into quite dense fog, as we drove over the mountain (hill) in the centre of the island. We found that safety belts we not used much in this taxi. The ones in the back worked but I was sitting in the front and although mine seemed to have plugged in, it soon popped out and was abandoned.

The driver was a pleasant, middle aged man and using a bit of Spanish, English and gestures, he told us that he had been born in the island.

The journey to Angra took about 45 minutes and we were dropped off at the taxi rank in the town centre – so no problem in finding a taxi back.

The town was bigger than Praia but still with narrow streets and traditional buildings. We walked around for a couple of hours, looking at the castle, museum (unfortunately, closed), marina, botanical garden and finished with the 15th century Cathedral.

The Azores have had a few earthquakes over the centuries and the most recent, in 1980, destroyed the Cathedral but it had been rebuilt and reopened in 1985.

At about 1pm, we took a taxi back to Praia with a younger driver, who spoke a bit of English and some Spanish. He was also a native of the island with a long line of Azorian ancestors. He agreed to drive us back on the coast road which was very pretty and passed through some small villages. The journey seemed to be longer but the fare was only €25, as for the previous trip.

We had lunch at a cafe on the seafront, where they were serving “traditional” seafood.

The prawns in garlic we not too bad but the Limpets (Laps) were like chewing rubber bands. I expect they had to be tough to get as far as the mid Atlantic.

We visited some of the shops and strolled up the main street, to meet the bus.

The ship left at 5:30pm, for our, 6 day, voyage to the next stop – Port Canaveral, Florida.

Had a quick walk around the deck after breakfast but almost blown away and soaked. Found that only door was open was the one we had come through – the others were closed, due to the wind – so had to complete a full lap.

Trivia getting better but still some way to go. Found by accident that score can be improved by filling in more than one question sheet. Where a choice has to be made, each one has a different answer – we would, of course, never stoop to such levels.

Missed the Zumba but went to the dancing class.

Cha-cha again but a new and more complicated routine. There was some discussion about the progression of the steps but we managed to complete the class.

Met some friends in the Gin bar for pre-dinner drink. Tried their “taster selection” of three small samples. Bit strong and wobbled off to dinner. Not really keen on cocktails, so perhaps not bother in future.

Arrive at Praia da Vitoria on Terceira, in the Azores, tomorrow and plan to take an island tour.